I've come to the conclusion that I may or may not have too many blogs. I don't write often, but when I post in one, I want to post in all of them...and 6 hours later, my legs are way past asleep. Oh well, I like all the blogs so, for now, they're here to stay!
For this post, I decided I want to talk more about the personal than the public, since all of the other posts have dealt in large part with very public cases first and foremost. That being said, it does very much involve the public--that is, the very rushed, annoyed, obnoxious public in retail stores everywhere during Christmas (and the week after for returns, which I used to hate, but now I kind of just laugh at people--usually not to their faces...). Whether people want to believe me or not, I truly do use my Psychology degree EVERY DAY at work, and during the holidays, well...multiply by 1000ish and that should give you a glimpse of an idea of what retail work and customer service jobs are really like during the holiday season...and why it never gets old to use psychology to make somebody feel like a jackass (only if they deserve it, of course). It feels doubly as awesome when I know that the person is going to figure out 10 miles down the road that I was, in fact, questioning their intelligence. For kicks, really.
Nah, I'm kidding. Okay, I'm not--but I don't do it often! They really do deserve it, I swear! But anyway...this is my 3rd Christmas working at the bookstore. At this point, it really does just get funnier and funnier. For example, our receipts automatically spit out one gift receipt with your regular one starting on Thanksgiving Day. I'm kind enough to ask if they need more than one, and unfortunately, said customer looks confused as to what I'm asking 97% of the time. Approximately. My favorite response when they actually hear me is something along the lines of, "Well, no! She wants this book. It was on her list." Okay first off--don't raise your voice to me for asking if I can make life more convenient for you. Second, unless you are the only person in the whole world--no siblings, friends, nothing--who received said Christmas list, GET A GIFT RECEIPT. The year "Matilda" came out on video, I received 3 or 4 of them--thanks to gift receipts, I could trade them in and end up with four different awesome movies instead of 4 copies of one. I totally still have my copy of that movie too; it never gets old. Ever. Anyway, sometimes I print off an extra one anyway and just put it with their wad of 50 other receipts that prints off of every transaction. But yeah--you know that saying, "The customer is always right"? Whoever said that was a jackass...and also wrong. You better believe if I go into a store and ask an employee for help or an opinion on something, I'M GOING TO BELIEVE THEM. Think about it--they are the ones who are there day in and day out, refreshing the shelves and watching what sells. YOU are not, so stop acting like a know it all. If you really are a know it all, then find it yourself, dude. Which reminds me, if somebody says they can't do a return for a valid reason (like not having the receipt), they aren't lying for fun (well, I can't speak for everybody, but I'm just saying) or just to get a rise out of you. And as adorable and the back and forth banter of, "I'm going to need you to go ahead and do this return," "well, sir, my computer system won't allow it," "Yeeeeah, I know you can do it, so I'm gonna need you to just do that for me," "actually sir, this giant box on the screen that says I can't and gives no override option means, like I said, I CAN'T DO THE RETURN," "But, I know you really can, so..."..."Sir, let me stop you right there. This could go on for literally hours, because I'm just that stubborn and also, you know, right. So I'm going to call my manager up here so he can tell you the exact same thing I've told you 9 times now, word for word, and then y'all can duke it out. Deal?"
Although I know I'm guilty of occasionally misdirecting my own anger at innocent strangers, waiters, customer service employees...typically after a long day of dealing with my own short-fused, often dim-witted customers of my own. Inevitably, I always feel terrible for taking out my problems on people who don't deserve it (and have already more than likely had to deal with many, many stupid people that day) and nine times out of ten I will circle back just to apologize to them. Very, very few times people have come back to apologize to me, and it means more than they could ever understand. Treating others like human beings--and therefore being a decent human being yourself--is way more important than the majority of society seems to realize, or even care to try and realize. Unfortunately, since everybody--for the most part--seems to want everything to go online instead of staying in stores where they would have to--GASP--engage in conversation with other human beings. The decline in social skills that I've already seen at work and in my personal life is disturbing--HILARIOUS most of the time too, yes, but more so incredibly sad. It's not surprising given America's apparently insatiable thirst for the newest, best, shiniest in all things technological, but I shudder to think of the "oh shit" moment 20-30 years from now when people realizes some things need to be in person, and that nothing will ever be better online. I just hope that in 10, 20, 50 years I still remember that treating people with respect is always more important than anything material in this world, and this is coming from a girl who hates living paycheck to paycheck and sometimes just can't stand having to budget every aspect of my life down to--quite literally--the penny. Hopefully, my personality and especially the ten years (so far) that I've worked in customer service will help with this is the future.
This past Saturday--the last weekend before CHRISTMAS, mind you--the entire network system (that runs the registers, customer service computers, and the office computer that holds all our store information and connection to the corporate office) went down for SEVEN HOURS, ie the majority of my shift. It was hell all by itself, as we couldn't take checks or gift cards, nor could we issue gift cards, or look up discount cards, and then there was the fact that it was the Saturday before Christmas--oh, and the fact that people are douche bags. To be fair, about 90-95% of my customers were awesome, being patient and encouraging me through the day and, best of all, vocally standing up for all of the employees when the select few were complete nightmares. I mean, COMPLETE NIGHTMARES. Petty, childish, impatient, rude, selfish--these are just a few of the adjectives I could list to describe those who tried their hardest to make the day even worse than it already was, if that would have even been possible. At the end of my shift, I sat down and went kind of catatonic for a while, and then fell over my sore, half numb feet when I tried to stand up. When I went to bed that night, I slept like a rock. I may have literally died for a few hours--THAT is how asleep I was. It would have been a stressful day anyway, and then when the system went down, all of the employees were running solely off a combination of adrenaline and espresso. LOTS of espresso. And then those few jackasses of society that decided that it was obviously imperative to voice their frustrations and whining tirades--as loud as they could possibly manage--to anybody and everybody who would listen. Oh who am I kidding, they yelled just to hear themselves talk most of the time. One woman went on forever about how "we always do this kind of thing" and how "she didn't want to shop with us anymore" and lots of other crap I zoned out in order to restrain myself from hitting her in the face. Literally. Nothing would have felt better in that moment--and by moment I mean nearly 10 minutes--than just punching her in the face. She was mad that we wouldn't take her check--she seemed to think it was personally my decision just to piss her off. In fact, most of the people who complained really seemed to think this was something we could fix in the store. When the system first went down, even I assumed it was going to be a brief, minor inconvenience, because it typically is and rarely lasts longer than half an hour; the norm for this kind of thing is less than 10 minutes. Turns out, it happened to every store on the kind of network we have, and each stayed down for hours and hours. Even more annoying was the fact that everything that would actually scan took forever, and then the printing out (usually like 20-30 seconds) took about 2-3 full minutes to run through--and printed out any and all receipts that I cold possibly need.
Since we couldn't look up cards and don't have a way to explore if the validity of those whorclaimed they had one if they didn't have the card with them , and if they said they were sure it was, we just had to do a 10 or 20% off and go with it. I still managed to get 13 cards, but since I probably would have gotten closer to 40 with a working network, and we would have way more cards--AND I would have gotten that spiff pay from the the service leader status I achieved early Thursday morning. I am beyond pissed that we are being held accountable for what happened that day, and that my money is not being given to me again as a result. At this point, I literally don't have the money to buy FOOD with these pathetic paychecks, and something is going to have to change. But this past week? Yeah, I'll have to have words with a few of the higher ups. I know life isn't fair, but this crosses the line. Especially since from what I can tell, we are going to be chastised heavily for it (won't know for sure until after office day tomorrow). THAT is unacceptable.
So, what does all of this have to do with psychology? In a word, everything. Humans are, by nature, social creatures. We tend to feed off the energy of others, and the behavior and demeanor of the crowd (read, "crowd mentality"), can often work to calm people down or rile them up way beyond what would have naturally occurred otherwise. Happiness, depression, anxiety, sense of adventure, honesty, and so on--all of these are affected by the crowd mentality. Not caused mind you, but affected for sure. Even though I know many over-the-top, negative outbursts in public--and for that matter, in private--are created as a direct result of psychological reflection, they can still do a number on my emotions. It can feel a million times worse to those who don't understand (or believe in, but let's not go there) the basics of psychology, let alone the intricate details of the inner workings of the field, and therefore, of humans in general. Subconsciously, it is quite clear and ridiculously simple to see the workings in everyday life...but how often do we pay attention to the lessons our subconscious is trying to show us? Of course, some people are just mean-spirited, and only seem able to feel positively about themselves after they have pushed everybody around them--strangers, friends, family--down. Once they have made everybody else feel as miserable as they are, only then do they feel successful and happy. There is probably a reason, or a plethora of reasons more than likely, why they are like this. They may or may not even be aware of the reasons, but their subconscious most certainly will be. If they would let me, anybody, in for a moment, there may be more room for understanding on my end instead of the rush of anger that they produce to others. Defense mechanisms are funny that way though--powerful and deeply rooted, almost impossible to destroy.
Also, it wouldn't hurt if everybody was forced to work several different kind of jobs in their lives, however briefly the experience may be. Examples? Server, cashier, customer service representative, manual labor. To name a few. I've done all but one--manual labor--but I've done volunteer work that was labor intensive, enough so for me to appreciate those who do it day in or day out. Whatever the job, the process of working with the public, of seeing life through the eyes of the person assisting you, does wonders for changing the way people treat others. For me, I don't have a sense of entitlement when I ask somebody for help (actually, I naturally assume that they know better than me because they are there day in and day out and I'm not), I try to be patient with people (and typically, though not always, succeed), I don't blame the worker unless it is completely and totally necessary and accurate, I would never intentionally seek out somebody's boss to get them in trouble just because we have an issue at that time (unless it dangerous or crosses the line--even then, I try to be pleasant about it and cause the least amount of problems), I always tip very well (side note: servers make approximately $2.15/hour, depending on the state and place of employment, so tips are how they pay their bills, eat, and live--remember that next time you leave a crappy tip--so if I can't afford to get my meal and tip well, then I don't go to that place), I try my best to help people as much as I can (especially financially), and I try to always leave an interaction with a "thank you", "have a nice day", or the like. Sometimes people make it very difficult to do that, but if you can help it--and we as humans really can't always help it, but usually can--be the bigger person and don't buy into their ploy to cause a fight. Maybe one day, they'll remember it and do the same, or even pay it forward. Even better, the less drama you create and the more you keep your cool helps to give credence to the times when you do lose your shit and yell. It's more likely to be respected and listened to when it comes from somebody who does cause a scene at the drop of a hat.
Psychology is so interwoven in the world of working with the public that I could go on for hours about this, but I won't. What I will say is that, when people ask me (or most likely, whine to me lame excuses about how hard it is) how I have managed to do so well at my job for nearly 3 years and still hit my points of sale and sell things day in and day out, I can only give two pieces of advice. Listen to/ observe your customers based on their personality and mannerisms--and also what they are purchasing in my case--and build a conversation with them. People like to feel special, and drawing similarities between them and yourself does just that. Plus, they get to hear concrete reasons why something would be good for THEM, and not just the general, run-of-the-mill speech nobody can connect with easily. Put the seed of an idea to get said item that you are promoting, and sometimes let it go at that. Within a couple of visits, they often end up taking your advice after all. On the flip side, push things just a little more than you think necessary. Americans typically say "no" as a reflex, and you have to talk them out of it at times. Don't be afraid to make people annoyed, but don't intentionally be a douche either.
Second piece of advice? Study at least general psychology. Better yet, get a bachelor's in it. It will serve you well, and it is just freaking fun to have a leg up in reading people. Plus, a degree in psychology makes you a total bad ass. Just trust me on this one.
