This very well may be the first blog that I'm doing for this particular blog (ie all Psych, all the time) that is really and truly considered a current event. The other posts I've done--the few that exist, that is--have been current in the grand scheme of things, but not before today have I chosen to write about something that is dominating the news in every form imaginable. I don't regret stretching the "current" part of "current event" just a bit, especially since I often don't know where I stand on issues as well as I'd like before I formulate an argument. I take full blame for being out of the loop; I very rarely look at newspapers and the sound on my cable being broken kind of hurts the whole "watching the news" effort. Occasionally, I'll catch the evening news (or at least a small portion of it) at my parents after DWTS before I head back home...but it's mostly local news and my attention wanes quickly and considerably once it comes on. It doesn't help that I've usually been awake for hours by that time and therefore I'm exhausted; worse still, when I have to get in bed for my 6 AM Wednesday shift at work on Tuesday night, the happenings on the news kind of takes a back seat...in a stretch Hummer. I have actually come to look forward to and enjoy that early morning shift, especially the part that includes me not having to deal with the public other than my work friends for a full 4 hours before we open--I get so much done and it's quiet! Okay, there's country music blaring in my ear either from my iPod, iPhone, or over the loud speaker if I'm there with Caroline--but it's quiet other than that enjoyable distraction. That being said, I'm not-- nor have I ever been--a morning person, so 5 AM still tends to kick my ass a little. By the time I get to work, but a large portion of my subconscious always thinks it's some kind of really lame, aggravating joke when my alarm goes off at 5 AM...and at 5:10...and at 5:15. Regardless though--what is going on in the news is perhaps the furthest thing from my mind on any given day, and especially on Tuesday nights!
To be honest, I wasn't even aware that Obama had given a speech expressing his view on gay marriage; in fact, it wasn't until I arrived at work and Brandi showed me the video clip on YouTube that it even appeared on my radar. Sad, I know, but true. Look, here's the deal. I hate politics. And not in the way my mother says that and then proceeds to talk about them while drawing you into debate after debate for the next two hours; no, I genuinely detest politics. I think politicians are generally (not always!) deceitful, conceited, ignorant, and money hungry. Then again, that description could very well apply to the majority of those in other professions as well, but when people choose to live their lives so much in the public eye and constantly try to sneak random, often damaging to many people, bylaws into every single law they try to pass--well, I'm not a fan overall. While I'm not a huge fan of Obama, I don't hate him. I admire his speaking ability and how much he seems to care and relate to the average citizen, and the same holds true for Michelle Obama--but she looks like a horse. I know, I know--who cares? The thing is, I wouldn't if it weren't for hearing SO MANY PEOPLE exclaim how beautiful she is and compare her to Jackie O. STEP OFF OF THAT! She does have some killer arm muscles though--I'll give her that. Anyway, I digress AGAIN!
Brandi had pretty much told me what to expect from the video, so I expected to be happy to hear of his support of gay marriage...and then I thought I'd move on from the emotional realm in that regard. WRONG. HOLY CRAP WRONG! I'm fully aware that Obama (as for all Presidents) has a speech writer, and that makes a big difference. But like him or not, the man gives one hell of a speech. I'm fairly certain that, for this particular speech, he had little if any help in the writing process. When he spoke of his daughters and their inability to understand why the parents of some of their friends--parents who just happen to be gay--couldn't get married. Children don't see the world in the same way as adults do so much of the time, and I believe we are at the losing end of that deal. Obama's daughters saw parents that loved each other and their kids, behave like a normal family, laugh and cry and act just as any human does day to day--and yet, they couldn't get married. They don't want a "civil union", and children seem to understand that more so much of the time it seems. To those who act as though gay couples should be happy with a civil union because it is essentially the same thing as marriage--back off! If you can so easily try to appease them (and the rest of us for that matter) and make them think as you do, how about you change YOUR beliefs? If marriage is essentially the as a civil union, then let them get married and shut up about it. Oh, what's that? "God says...?"
First off, no he doesn't. Second, separation of church and state means that we shouldn't make laws based on what our personal religions tell us. If a church is fine, even celebratory, over allowing a gay couple to marry within its walls, why should you not be okay with it? As soon as somebody forces you to have a gay marriage, I promise we'll talk. Until then, mind your business. On a much smaller scale, it's similar to how I feel about people insulting, say, my tattoos. They see the one on my wrist and condemn me for marking up my skin--never once asking what it may represent. The one on my wrist is for TWLOHA, and it reminds me not to be self destructive (ie starve or cut myself). I scarred myself intentionally--and beautifully--once over 2 years ago to remind myself not to do it in other ways every day. People are much more accepting of tattoos these days, so it's not a fair comparison, but since it does still come up and people do still speak seemingly just to offend me at times--it's all I've got. Also, it totally blows their mind when they learn I have a SECOND tattoo (really, the first I got) on my hip. Blasphemy! Or, 2 completely separate decisions and acts performed 4 years apart. Either way.
The point is, so many people in our world (and especially in our society in particular) feel the need to climb atop their moral high horse "for the better of....their kids, parents, teachers, their dog...."--who knows. In reality, the VAST MAJORITY of these people aren't trying to protect anybody. Instead, they are trying to be heard...usually to attempt to sway others to believe as they do. Just--stop it, okay? The more you shove your beliefs--especially religious ones, and even more so in the Bible belt where I reside--down the throats of others, the less likely you are to ever be heard or respected for just about anything that comes out of your mouth. I'm all for debates, and on crabby days it's true that I really just want to fight my opinion on...anything. But generally speaking, when I debate I truly want to hear another person's perspective and point of view on any given topic, and I have far more respect for those who want the same--even if we're all but tearing out the eyes of the other person. Probably 70-80% of the time, my opinion on the given topic changes very little, if any, and I'm sure that's true of the other person as well. Still, I learned something new and/or strengthened my own beliefs. If you can't have a rational, civil debate with another person about anything ever, perhaps you are the problem. Even better, that 20-30% leftover from the above statistic? Those are the times that I feel my way of thinking (and/or approaching the topic) was altered enough to matter in my mind. Complete change of the entire belief system? Rare, if ever. But the breaking down of the walls of judgement and an added layer of meaning or understanding for somebody not like myself? Absolutely.
Years ago, as in when I was in elementary and middle school, I was avidly pro-life and thought I was against gay marriage, though that didn't seem to rattle me as much. But then I grew up and began to live. First off, I had been all wrong about what pro-life vs. pro-choice even meant--a problem I still see everywhere, including in my own parents, which I find appalling on so many levels. Previously, I thought pro-choice meant pro-abortion--clearly, I was wrong. Immediately, I started to waver in my personal pro-life vendetta. As I got older and realized the full implications of pro-life, however, my wavering belief system was fully annihilated. Just in terms of myself, I don't want--nor can I imagine the pain that goes along with all of this--anybody, EVER, to tell me what I can and can't do with my body. Yes, a few people will use abortion as a sick (and crazy expensive) form of birth control. You can't control the masses, even if the government thinks they will find a way. People will be stupid, and reckless, and arrogant, and cruel. But I am not one of those people, nor are the very large majority of pro-choice individuals. Truth be told, I'd have one hell of a time getting an abortion--mostly because I'm the uber-emotional type that cries not just at TV commercials, but also because of a cereal box (nostalgia FTW!). Seeing as how I've never been put in that situation (thankfully!), I can't be 100% certain what I would decide to do. I am, however, certain that my decision would be well thought out, and would change based on the background circumstances involved. If I were raped (again) and became pregnant from that, I think I would have a hard time distancing the child growing inside of me from the hateful person behind so much pain, and I fear I'd associate the child with that act way too much. But again--I don't know. All I know is that I should get to make that choice. If counseling is required, I fully support that. I'm fully aware of the fact that people make rash decisions, and I think therapy would be beneficial regardless of the ultimate decision. Recently, all kinds of new laws and rules in the world of the abortion debate are popping up, and it sickens me. It's always something, isn't it?
But I didn't start this blog to talk about abortion, though it is definitely relevant on the emotional scale to the gay marriage debate. Here's what's up--I'm a total bitch, except for when I'm not. I'm loud and opinionated and can be hurtful. I'm growing up, but it's taking time and effort. People infuriate me, but I love them. I often want to slap a dozen people a day, but in the end?
I REALLY JUST WANT PEOPLE TO BE HAPPY.
That is what we all should want, especially if we ever want to be happy ourselves. There are terrible people out there for sure, but most people? ARE NOT. There are really mean, spiteful, cruel gay people out there-- but there are no more within that community as there are in any other group. Indeed, it seems as if there may actually be fewer. They want the right to marry, and then they want to live their lives. Being gay doesn't mean there are other stereotypical strings attached, and the effort and energy it takes to judge and condemn others could really be much better spent on bettering yourself. Work on not judging others so much, and we'll just be over here celebrating a marriage. Cool?
My respect level for Obama skyrocketed after watching that video--not just because of his support of gay marriage, but in his desire to be honest with all of us. It was a very real talk, very human, very much full of a father's love and pride. I may disagree with the rest of his speeches throughout his presidency--or more likely, just fail to listen to many of them altogether, if we're being honest--but for this moment, in his decision to voice his opinion fully knowing that many will be very angry (and very vocal about their anger), by choosing to speak from his own heart and feelings, and by believing honesty is more important than popularity in situations such as these--well, there exists in me forever a degree of respect and a heightened admiration for Obama.Yes, forever, because I don't think he will take it back one day just because he can. That speech was genuine, honest, and real--and I have a great deal of respect for that.
Part of me wants to see the reactions and comments on public forums regarding Obama's speech, but the bigger part of me that still hasn't looked, truly doesn't care what others think. People are nasty online, as if somehow they are more powerful when only their venomous words can be seen while their faces remain hidden. I'm fully aware that most of the responses will be ugly, hurtful, petty...so many unpleasant things. The part of me that wants to read the comments is made up of the knowledge that the minority--even if very small--that will be kind, no matter what their stance on the matter, will always be able to bring me up way more than anything negative could bring me down. Still, I'm fully aware of people's ignorance this morning. I don't really need to see it in print. Coffee first?
Anyway, in case it wasn't obvious, I fully and completely support gay marriage. Because I support happiness. Many friends of mine are gay, and I can't fathom never seeing any of them get married. But even if I didn't have any gay friends, or know any gay people, I would still support gay marriage. There are many things about me, many issues that have plagued me for years, that people judge me for because they don't understand. Being hatefully judged over and over again changes you, even though I think I felt this way all along. Now, however, I'm going to be more vocal about it. I will never judge the decision of others in their quest for happiness simply because I do not understand it. I'm not saying I'll never judge anybody again; instead, I'll try harder to be fully informed before I make my assessment. And I will never condemn gay marriage.
I WILL NEVER JUDGE THOSE STRIVING FOR HAPPINESS, ACCEPTANCE AND LOVE. AS I WOULDN'T WANT TO BE JUDGED--AS I DAILY HOPE TO NOT BE FOR FIVE SECONDS-- I WILL NOT JUDGE OTHERS.
I WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING FOR PEOPLE TO BE HAPPY, HOWEVER THAT MAY COME ABOUT.
Except if killing, raping or maiming people makes you happy--then we'll have to talk. And have you committed. Fair's fair.
